we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
