Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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