omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
