I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
