Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
