I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
