KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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