i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
