We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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