So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
