I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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