i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You ruined the universe
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
