So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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