Whod you bang
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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