Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize