I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
