FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
