Well douche your snatch and let's go!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
