Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
