i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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