Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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