So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
