yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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