Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You smell like stripper and shame
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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