No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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