you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
