I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
