yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
