My hand turned me down
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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