I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
