I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
