we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
