I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
