The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
