How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize