I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
