Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
