the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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