Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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