i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
