Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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