he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she looked like the before picture.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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