Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
