I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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