i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
PANTIES FOUND
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
