Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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