Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
