tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
