So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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