why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
