Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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