I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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