All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
