Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
