This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
