Plan B is the new Plan A
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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