yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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