maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
