Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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